life in the cul-de-sac

yeah, so i officially live in a subdivision. saturday afternoon while heading out the door to work, i found a festively decorated piece of paper on my door announcing the neighborhood halloween block party. seriously, you've got to be kidding me. i'm the person when walking marshall often cringes while saying hello or waving to random neighbors. these people don't want or need me at their block party. the sight of the announcement is quite frankly, making me ill. no, i don't feel like meeting my neighbors in the circle, sharing a side dish or making the traditional halloween pot of freaking chili. seems as though i'm not only the scrooge of christmas, but now halloween; oh well, at least i've found something i'm good at and can stick with it. plus, the party starts at 4:00; darn, i have to work...what a shame!

i lie

so last weekend and this past came and went. i obviously did not post any pictures. should you really be that surprised? i will have some up early this week. i bought a new table and bookshelf for the living room that look ever so smart. so i blame the delay on those; some assembly was required.

on a happier note, my side and back yards are starting to sprout grass! woo-hoo! i really didn't think it would happen. i went to work friday morning and came home that night and poof, there was grass. it was the strangest thing. i at least have hope that i may have something close to a green yard this year...you know, just in time for it to turn brown and die.

and to keep you all posted, not only is creve couer lock-up calling, i now have st. louis county corrections bugging me asking if i'll accept the charges on a collect call from david johnson. who are these people and how did they get my bloody number? honestly, why is it always me?

a quick catch up

lush it is not
so the dill-holes finally came through 6 weeks post-closing, i have sod in the front yard. it is far from the greenest of green grass one could hope...it's actually a dirty green/brown color. the side and back yards are another story. they were sprinkled with seed and have hay thrown about everywhere. i might as well put on my best plaid shirt, don some pig tails and grab my pitchfork for the awesome hoedown that's about to get started.

foreigner follower
i know i shouldn't be complaining, but considering the fact that i once again have foreign moron neighbors is quite trying. i came home from work wednesday night, around 12:00am, to find about a 2ft x 4ft chunk of my yard laying in the street. one of the moronic neighbor kids, of course the one who just got his license, drove across my lawn taking it with him. nice that his even more moronic parents, who sit on their front porch all day and night-so i know they saw what happened, didn't bother to move the sod back in place or make junior do it. so now, if you will, picture me at 12:15am, hands buried deep in mud, picking up my sorry excuse for grass yard and trying to puzzle piece it back together. i wish those morons spoke english better so i could really let them know how i felt. god i hope the sod roots quick.

don't call me renee mosely
so apparently, the whacked out lady, renee, who had my phone number before me was not a reliable chick. since having the number 3 creditors have called looking to collect, walgreens pharmacy has left 4 messages about picking up my prescription at the store on grand and wherever and creve couer corrections department called this morning at 8:30 asking me to accept a collect call from some random dude in lock-up.

just call me klepto
lately, by no fault of my own, people have been voluntarily allowing me to not pay for items. for instance, while on an outing to target for some new household items a few weeks ago, i accidentally left a tape measure in the bottom of my cart and did not realize it until i was in the parking lot loading my car. surely, had the cashier been paying more attention to her job and not her fellow employee, she would have noticed the $12 item; therefore, not my fault. then this evening, petsmart felt obligated to return the favor too. marshall needed some treats, chewies, a new harness and leash. this time, i didn't even have a cart, i was holding all the items so there was no chance of me burying something on accident. i placed the 4 items on the counter, said hello to the pimple-faced kid at the register, swiped my credit card, got my receipt, picked up my bag and was on my merry way. i get into the car and realize just how cheap that venture was and think something isn't right. sure enough, i look at my receipt and junior missed scanning marshall's new $25 leash. again, i was already out of the store and not about to go pay for his mistake. (in case you are wondering, i'm not the only person that this situation happens to...just ask jessie and joe about one of ava's birthday presents from toys r us.)

give me tivo or give me death
i now have tivo/dvr with my new cable connection. it is the absolute best invention ever! considering i am never home to watch tv, i can record any and everything now! it's the best; however, finding time to watch everything that i have in the queue is another subject. seriously people, pausing/rewinding/fast forwarding tv is just the zaniest thing. i order you all to get it, you can thank me later.

that should hold you all over until the weekend. i'll work on putting up some pictures of the new joint later this weekend.

it rained last night

most of you are probably thinking, so what it rained, no big deal. well, perhaps the bulk of you aren't living in a brand new house with spankin' new carpet, have giant mud pits for a front and back yards or own the world's most deviant 68 lb pooch. for those of you who can't figure this one out, allow me to illustrate my morning:

marshall wakes me up earlier than usual today, grr, at 7:15. too tired to take our morning walk around the park, i opt for the back yard. i throw on some clothes, find my shoes and leash up the pooch. thinking ahead, i know it rained last night and there may be a few puddles that marshall will find his way into, so i grab a towel from the closet for safe measures.

having barely opened the back door to survey the damage, marsh hightails it down the stairs into what looks like a mud wrestlers dream. (someone needs to learn how to hold it better.) marshall is already frolicking in the mud before i can register what i've gone and gotten myself into.

after 5 minutes in mud heaven, i decide satan's had long enough to romp. i start coaxing him back to the stairs; however, he is not interested. marshall is more concerned about what's going on in the front of the house. as he starts to walk away from me, i tug on his leash to get him to come over. apparently this freaks him out and he goes into panic mode and digs his paws into the mud. the only way i am able to round him up is to go over there myself and slowly lead him to safety.

needless to say, in doing so, i realize my backyard is somewhat comparable to quicksand but yet mixed with nails, wood chunks, fence posts, branches and other household items, ie a salt shaker (seriously, there is one back there, i have no inclination as to where it came from). with every baby step i take, i hear my once purple, now brown crocs, get suctioned deeper into the mud pit.

still whining in despair, marshall looks at me with his little sad puppy eyes. coated in a 10 pounds of mud, i make it to the pooch and lead him to safety, also known as the concrete slab. i try scraping the first 5 pounds of mud off my one croc but realize it's no use.

i kick off my shoes and lead marsh up the stairs. with the towel i brought out before hand, thinking it would save the day, i start peeling hunks of mud out from the pup's paws. this is going no where fast. he's becoming panicked and quite concerned. my only other option: the bathtub.

yes, my shiny new stark white tub. i tie marshall to the steps, quickly run inside, throw on the water and grab yet another towel. i unhook the beast from his leash, pick up the svelte 68 lb pup and haul ass to the bathroom. *side note: i have never given marshall a bath before. when it's time for him to get sexified, we head over to groomingdale's pet spa.* as soon as his paws hit the bottom, his legs become like jello and he plops down in the muddy water.

i'm not sure, but think i have the world's most "special" dog. while laying in the now murky brown water, he proceeded to lap it up. i let him do it a few times because it was keeping him occupied while i removed the gobs of mud from between all four paws. having successfully cleaned the pooch, i pull the plug on the drain. not a smart move. it appears a certain soaked someone does not care for this noise or appreciate the vibrations it's making in the tub.

quickly, i grab the other towel and wrap it around him like a little pig in a blanket. being that the bathroom isn't spacious enough for the two of us to sit comfortably on to dry off, i carry the beast into the kitchen and plop us both down on the floor. marshall stares up at me with those sweet little brown eyes as if only to say he's sorry. we both know the truth though, given the opportunity, he'd do it all over again.

thankfully, my carpet survived...the bathtub, well, i think she'll muster through too. i rinsed all the mud chunks and grass out already and am getting ready to head back in with the bleach. that marshall, what a dirty dog!